The Big Three Pt. 2
Welcome back to our exploration of what’s really keeping us stuck. We are exploring our blockages as seen through the lens of Kriya yoga. Kriya yoga is a yoga of action presented in the second chapter of The Yoga Sutras. A simple three step process that we can easily use in our daily lives as a checklist for why we just can’t seem to make the progress or hit the goals or do whatever the “thing” is that we dream of.
Well friends, I gotta tell you- Step 2 she is a doussyyyyy- Enter Self Study
On the surface self study seems like a pretty obvious step when moving in the direction of our goals, spiritual and otherwise- we have to be able to see how we are doing, what’s working & what’s not to be able to calibrate our path as we go. But self study is this case, the case where what we are looking for is real and lasting change- not just “loose this weight”- but “never put this weight back on” again- that level of change, requires a depth of words that registers more than “self study” for the beginner- this step, for me, translates as Radical Self Love
To bust through the blocks you continually see coming up in your life requires that you not only see the “why” that is on the surface, it requires that you dive to the depths of the choices that you have been making that lead you where you are - you must discover their origin story, their pay off for you in the now and you MUST LOVE ALL OF IT. Wholly and without reserve.
Ok here we go- lets dive into this a little bit….
I am going to ask you to be radically honest with yourself. To do that you must feel safe with your Self. So, before we begin, I just want to review what radical self love means. It means that no matter what you see when you open your eyes and look inward, you promise to first and foremost show love and understanding. There are no bad people only bad choices and if you feel even a hint that you are going to be judged or shamed you will throw a huge wall up and not get to the root of the thing that keeps bringing you pain and you will stay stuck in the cycle of pain. Most importantly you will be missing out on a life of magic and joy which is your birthright.
I offer this mantra as we begin:
I love all of myself
All shadow is only light in waiting.
I open my life and my heart to evolution and my past fear based choices are not necessary in the present or in my joy-filled future.
Ok, let's do this!
What behavior(s) do you choose that make you feel badly?
Why then do you choose them?
Is there a feeling you are hiding from? (Side note: it's not just "bad" feelings that we avoid feeling, sometimes we avoid feeling "good" ones too because we don't think we deserve to feel them)
Is there a joy you think you don't deserve?
For example: On the surface I may have stopped exercising because I say I don't have the time but really, if I do a little digging, I might realize that I don't think I deserve to take care of myself.
Many of the negative things we do, when viewed in the light of day are easily reprogrammed. In the exercise example above I might realize that I hold that belief and then say, "Of course I deserve to take care of myself!". Now when I go to skip my workout I will think instead "I deserve to take care of myself" and will begin to show up for my Self and get to experience the joy that comes along with that.
Uncovering the why behind the choices we are making that are not bringing us joy is the first step to freeing them and moving forward into a more joyful life. But there is of course a rub in this step as well. Usually it is not the first layer of the thing that is the root of the root and the heart of the heart. Usually the big “AHA!” moment us buried deep, deep in a place we have tried to forget. Often the behavior we are engaging in in the now is a thing that is actually programmed into us, in our subconscious as good. Using the above example- the surface “root” may be that I am not valuing my self care, and yes awakening to that may cause me to start to make some shifts when I realize I am falling back into a rut of not taking care of myself BUT it is likely not the root of the root so the weed will just grow back in time.
And so another layer of inquiry must begin- and it MUST BE INQUIRY ROOTED IN RADICAL SELF LOVE ONLY
Come back to our mantras
I love all of myself
All shadow is only light in waiting.
I open my life and my heart to evolution and my past fear based choices are not necessary in the present or in my joy-filled future.
And now with so much love I ask…
How/Why is the thing that is “blocking” you actually programmed as “good” for you right now?
Do you know where that came from?
Are you ready to release that programming?
I am so proud of you for getting this far!! Please take time now to breathe deeply for a few moments, take a walk in nature, take a warm bath. let this inquiry simmer and then let is go for now.
Next up Step 3 and what to do now!…
With great respect and so much love,
NK
